Sunday is the first day of the 12 Week Body Transformation program and so this week I had to document my current state of being a bit of a fatty.
Here are my measurements
And in the grand tradition of before photographs, I’m wearing no make-up, my hair isn’t done, my posture is poor and I’m wearing a very unflattering outfit.
I had a bit of a shock today when doing a fitness test before starting the 12 Week Body Transformation next week. It may have not been my best effort because Terri and I decided to do the test together in Perth but I forgot to bring up my exercise gear and had to borrow hers. This means my pants were too small, my shoes too big and I had no sports bra. Still Here are my results:
- Number of pushups without stopping = 8
- Time taken to run 1 km whilst holding my boobs up = 6 minutes 33 seconds
- Longest plank (from knees) = 3 minutes 4 seconds
- Wall sit = 54 seconds
- Flexibility test = -13 cm (I was 13 cm away from being able to touch my toes!)
All these stats were put into a formula and the advice given was that I should start the beginner program. Beginner! I ran a marathon a year ago and now I’m back to the beginner program!
It was a shock!
Before the 12 Week Body Transformation program begins, there is a pre-season. This entails doing a bunch of different tasks and challenges each week in the lead up to the start of the program in order to get into the right mindset for success.
Trying to move more was a challenge in one of the weeks. I read this on Friday and I was bored of sitting in front of my computer all day, so I decided to ride my bike to the nearest decent cafe which happens to be a 20 km round trip. I felt really good having done some exercise. Of course, when I got to the cafe, I ate an egg and lettuce sandwich, a bucket of chips and a piece of fudge so it wasn’t a complete success. I did decide not to get an icecream though as I knew that would make me too thirsty during the cycle home. Yay for me!
Another such task was to go into your pantry and throw out or donate all the food that shouldn’t be there – sugary and fatty foods. Well, that just seems an unnecessary waste to me, so instead, I’ve been eating them. I’m currently getting through a block of delicious Margaret River cheese, bread and butter cucumbers and a crisp glass of sauvignon blanc for tea. For lunch I had a few old butterscotch lollies I found at the back of the cupboard. Once I’d finished them, I licked the icing sugar out of the tin. Mmmmm.
Next Saturday is our last free day, so Terri has invited Uncle Adrian over for dinner and he’s bringing dessert! Uncle Adrian makes the best desserts in the world. This is true. If you don’t believe me, you are wrong! And his portion sizes are also very generous. This is actually really good planning because there is absolutely no way we will feel like eating on Sunday which is the first day of the program!
Well, I’m drinking a glass of wine whilst I’m writing this and it isn’t my first for the day. I haven’t run for a week after tearing a muscle trying to do a cartwheel for a couple of six-year-olds and I’m about to tuck into a feed of garlic prawns because otherwise, I would have to throw them out.
In short, my foolproof plan to become tropics ready has crashed and burned.
I’m putting it down to isolation. Normally, I would be going to work where I would be annoying everyone with my constant chatter about my progress, successes and challenges. Although this would irritate some in the staffroom, there would always be others that would listen and make helpful suggestions. Turns out, I need that!
Solution: I’ve joined the Michelle Bridges 12 Week Body Transformation.
She speaks my language and in an accent I understand. My sister recommends her whole-heartedly and we will be doing the program together – her in Perth and me in Lake Clifton (at least until the house sells). The first two weeks will be the biggest challenge as Madrid and I will be travelling around the state! But not to worry – plenty of chances for exercise whilst swimming with whale sharks and snorkelling on the Ningaloo Reef. My pescatarianism should be easy to maintain as well whilst heading up the coast. And if I have to venture beyond that, kangaroo is a very lean meat.
So I’m starting today with the pre-season exercises and this is my shout out to everyone – I’m doing this!
Not a bad environment for some extra exercise!
I’m moving to the tropics for the second time in my life. Unfortunately, my body is not tropics ready! I took a similar version of this body to the tropics almost ten years ago. Here is a photo of me after I was picked up from the airport in Accra.
I’m still smiling at this point because the air conditioner is on. But soon after that photo was taken, I had to get out of the van. I naively thought I was prepared. I was wearing a light cotton shirt, a knee length skirt and I had applied some tactically placed talcum powder.
You may not know what happens to talcum powder on your thighs after walking in the tropics for an hour, but I do! And I’m sure as hell not going through that disaster again!
By the time I left the tropics, I no longer needed talcum powder, bike shorts or bandaids. My body had morphed with little conscious effort, although the dysentery did help a bit, into tropics go condition. The photo below was taken about 18 months after I had arrived. By then, I was already good to go.
The first year in Ghana was tough but it would have been a lot less tough if I wasn’t so physically uncomfortable all the time. So I’m not going to take my circa 2010 body back to the tropics. This time, I’m going to be tropics ready, before boarding the plane!
- Give up alcohol
I had my last drink at Dale and Kristie’s on Friday a week ago and the homemade gluhwein was delicious as was the bottle of Moet I took along!My next drink will be during brunch at the Sheraton in Bangkok – book it Kimbo!
- Running, running, running,
I’ve already started training for a half-marathon in February. Now I just need to find similar races for March, April, May and June!
- The two day fast
This worked so wonderfully well for me before. And frankly, whilst I’m not working, it will help with my budgeting!
- Tell everyone about it.
It is every parent’s fantasy to have their unemployed, unmarried, middle-aged child living with them and my mum is now lucky enough to be living that very dream.
Today, ten days after I arrived back in Western Australia, mum and I finally made it home to Lake Clifton. I’ve unpacked my suitcases and moved into the spare room with the jig-saw puzzles, games and soft toys of my childhood. But there is still plenty of room left, for when the bulk of my clothes arrive in August. For now, I’m happy with a pair of tracky-dacks, QANTAS pjs and some running gear! I also picked up some socks at Target last week so my feet are snuggly warm too.
Mum has acclimatised to having me around surprising quickly. Not long after we got home, she settled down in to her chair. Almost immediately she had me running around to collect items for her so she didn’t have to get up again. I was unpacking my cases in my room when I discovered that she had found her bell and wasn’t afraid to use it.
Mum finds her bell
We’ll see how long it is before she loses it!